April 6, 2011
An Interview with a Four-Year-Old
You all know my oldest son Brady by now. He's four (and a half, better not forget that) and loving life. You've heard about his extensive knowledge regarding female anatomy, his future career as a ninja and sports star, and his imaginary friends, but I thought it was about time to let him speak for himself, to tell you, the readers of my "faceblog", as he calls it, a little more about himself in his own words. The following is a brief interview with him regarding a wide variety of topics ranging from sports figures to the situation in Lybia, from video games to underwear. Enjoy.
Me: Are you ready for me to ask you some questions, Brady?
Me: Son, can you stop playing your maze game for a second so I can ask you some questions?
Brady: ...OK, but can I keep playing while I talk?
Me: Well, OK, we'll see how that goes. So first, tell me how old you are.
B: Daddy, you know! Four and a half.
Me: Great, and why is the sky blue?
B: Well, ...huh? Oh, because of the atmosphere.
Me: Wow, where did you learn that?
B: In my planets book. You read it to me, remember?
Me: Oh yeah, I'd forgotten. That's a good one. Is that your favorite book?
B: No, I like Peter Pan, when the crocodile bites off Captain Hook's hand and he screams like Ellie (Brady's little sister) when he hears the clock (that the alligator swallowed) ticking. And I like the Bible, but mostly the Bible stories with fighting in them.
Me: Cool. So, what's your favorite food?
B: Well, my favorite is macaroooooooni. (Then, with a big grin) Know what else is my favorite?
Me: No, what?
B: An elephant on a steak. And people on a marshmallow roaster. (laughs)
Me: Eww, that's gross!
B: (laughing harder) I like them with ketchup!
Me: OK, OK, let's move on, silly guy. So, what's your favorite thing to do outside?
B: What I really love to do is nothing and stay inside.
Me: But you love to go outside!
B: Yeah, but I just like to stay inside and play the maze game. (the same game he's playing as we speak, in which he helps the mouse find his cheese in a series of mazes) That's my favorite thing to do inside.
Me: OK, but what about outside?
B: Oh! Digging for treasure.
Me. Ah, good answer. OK, so who's your favorite sports player?
B: Well, my favorite guy goes like this. (gets up and mimes a left-handed batter swinging) He slugs really good slammers.
Me: A slammer-slugger, huh? Who is it?
B: Joe Mauer! He's number seven. I'm going to be number seven when I play for the Twins.
Me: Awesome! Next question, and we're almost done. If you could have any cartoon character on your underwear, who would it be?
B: (sneaks a peek at his underwear) The Incredibles, but I REALLY want some underwear with Wolverine on them. He's an X-Men. And he's got aluminumum on his bones and claws, so the bad guys can't hurt him.
Me: Do you mean "adamantium"?
B: Yeah, that.
Me: So, what's your favorite video game?
B: What would you choose?
Me: Super Mario Brothers, I think.
B: Well, I would choose Mega Man. (Then, with a laugh) Look, daddy, the mouse (in his maze game) has poopy on his hands!
Me: Oh, come on, that's silly! OK, last question. What do you think about the situation in Lybia?
B: What's Lybia?
Me: It's a country really far away. There's a bad guy there named Gaddafi there who's trying to hurt a lot of people.
B: Is he like Magneto? (a bad guy from 'The X-Men' comics and movies)
Me: Kind of, but he doesn't have any super powers, just a lot of guns and missiles.
B: Well, I don't know, but I think Wolverine could get the bad guy. The guns and missiles can't hurt him, and he could just "SCHING-SCHING" (clawing and punching) and get the guy with his claws.
Me: Good idea, bud. Well, those are all my questions. Thanks for answering them.
B: OK. Can I read them on your faceblog?
Me: You bet. Now let's get to bed.
Is there anything more refreshing than four-year-old humor and logic? I can't think of anything, but maybe Ellie will have a few things to say about it when I interview her. Like Brady, she's never at a loss for words. Tune in next time for "An Interview with a Two-Year-Old".