Yeah, I know, it's been a while. Please excuse my absence. I took some time recently to attend the International Conference of Used Diaper Salespeople (very politically correct; we're not all salesMEN nowadays) in Stockholm, Sweden, and it was an enlightening adventure. The used diaper business is becoming ever more "green", more socially and environmentally conscious all the time, and I figured I needed to stay with the times, rub shoulders with the giants of the industry and get all the latest. And what kind of Used Diaper Salesman would I be if I didn't share with you what I learned?
First, the basics. There was a set of flashcards for new parents that I found to be educational and endearing, some simple how-to's that are a must for anyone who has brought home their first child from the hospital and proceeded to sit down on the floor and rock back and forth in panic while weeping and muttering. Still no word on that Child Maintenance Manual I was promised five years ago (STILL on backorder), so these are a worthy substitute. There are quite a few, but they're worth your time.
Then, my favorite from the "Baby No-No's" booth:
As "green" as this idea is, diaper rash, fruit-induced or otherwise, is a bad thing. Please don't do this to your child.
And finally, my favorite entries in the "Innovations and Advancements" section:
What's more environmentally responsible than edible diapers? Very little goes to waste. And not just cheddar...TANGY cheddar, with new flavors on the way. I'm told Huggies is trying to keep pace by coming out with a diaper that has a little indicator on it which shows when it's full, kind of like the Coors Light bottle whose label turns blue when it's cold, but there was no prototype available at the convention. A bummer...I was kind of hoping to see that one. But scratch-n-sniff? Come on. The target market for that product might do better to simply buy some kleenex and blow their noses, make sure their sense of smell is in working order. Or, if you prefer not to sniff, a simple scratch will do the trick. Everyone knows that even the lightest pressure on a full diaper will cause it to ooze. How's that for an indicator?
So after a very educational and restful business trip, I'm back in the saddle and ready to rock. In light of what we've learned here, I'd love to hear from you. Have you ever mishandled any of the "dos and "don'ts" in those flash cards with your own kids? Have you ever used produce as a diaper substitute? How messy did that get? Would YOU buy edible diapers? If so, what flavor would you like to see? Your feedback is invaluable. Thanks!